![]() That is, until one day, when diet became Victory for me…Each comment, lost pound, and lost inch gave me more of an incentive. “…Diet and defeat, attempts and failure had become my way of life. My pain and insecurity drove my passion to be emaciated, to do whatever it took to have my ribcage jutting outside of my skin. Psalm 145:16Īs an overweight, hurt and fearful child, I wrongly absorbed the belief being thin was my answer. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing. The sticking point, however, is to make the distinction between passions, which tend to be carnal and potentially harmful, and desires, which are life-affirming and often originate from a Divine direction. That is not a shocker to Him it shouldn’t be to us either. Those assessments, as I experienced various forms of disorder, provided irrefutable evidence: self-destructive passions emanated from my heart.Īnd God certainly understands our finite beings, passion’s consuming fire and its pitfalls. I’m often described as intense, “type A,” perfectionistic and driven. That, therefore, includes the related topics of passions, desires and idolatry.įor he is the kind of person who is always thinking about the cost… his heart is not with you. I still wasn’t thin enough it wasn’t good enough…”*Īs I’ve been in recovery from eating disorders, food, weight and body image issues, yes, I’ve had to deal with my heart. My obsession with the thin physique created my descent into anorexia and its painful heart issues. ![]() For I have had a disordered history with both. Its focus, the heart and the rib cage, hit home. ![]() ![]() This statement, from its anonymous author, recently caught my attention:
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